Zealous Zaya and the Wade Family: On Joyous Black Kids, Wholesome Black Families, Transphobia and Minding Your Damn Business
In a February 11th interview, former basketball champion and stand up father Dwayne Wade sat down with several new outlets to promote and discuss his new ESPN documentary, D Wade: Life Unexpected. Specifically, on the Ellen DeGeneres show, Ellen noted how Wade and his wife Gabrielle Union are shining examples of parents of LGBTQ children should be and present themselves, Wade opened up about his trans* 12 year old daughter Zaya and said that him and Gabrielle are “proud parents” of an LGBTQ child and allies of the community in general.
“We take our roles and our responsibility as parents very seriously," he explained. "When a child comes home with a question, when a child comes home with an issue, when a child comes home with anything, it's our job as parents to listen to that, to give them the best information that we can, the best feedback that we can -- and that doesn't change because sexuality's now involved in it.”
Wade described the day that Zaya came home and told her parents that she’d like to be described as she.
“Once Zaya, our 12-year-old, came home -- first Zion, I don't know if everybody knows, originally named Zion, born as a boy -- came home and said, 'Hey, so I want to talk to you guys. I think going forward I am ready to live my truth, and I want to be referenced as 'she' and 'her.' I would love for you guys to call me Zaya,'" Wade said.
Wade went on to talk about how nothing has changed for him-he just needs to get more educated and described how he’s been doing research on the process of becoming trans, how it affects children, the LGBTQ community and more. He also mentioned how Union reached out to the cast of the FX show Pose for advice and resources.
“We're just trying to figure out as much information as we can to make sure that we give our child the best opportunities to be her best self,” says Wade.
That’s the crux of it, but let’s start with the exemplary portrayal of parenting that Wade and Union are showing with Zaya first before we mention anything else.
Here we have 2 Black stars: Union an actress and author, Wade a basketball legend and businessman. Also two Black heterosexual folks who aren’t very familiar with trans* or LGBTQ matters, but who most likely have LGBTQ freinds, family and colleagues who they support, love and choose to not be ignorant about, but check their privilege and understand.
A lot of parents after learning that their child wants to fully transition into the person they know they’re supposed to be since birth or even telling them there’s a change in their sexuality or who they’re attracted to and love can result in the exact opposite mannerism of love Union and Wade are showing- trans and LGBTQ teens are 120% more likely to experience homelessness, suicide and depression than their straight peers. A lot of that is from family rejection. I know friends who had parents who made their lives a living hell, tried to kill them, sexually assault them in a cruel perversion to “make them straight,” cut them off from the family and more. So with Union and Wade choosing to love and nurture their child in the very public eye of social media and stardom as hetero folks is a revoluntionary act. They penned a heartwarming piece together for TIME Magazine on their decision as parents and people to love Zaya wholly, unconditionally and out loud as she should be. At the very root of parenting is love and learning, and the Wades have been doing a lot of that.
Unfortunately, Zaya’s announcement of coming into herself hasn’t been met with all love and support-there’s also been a lot of absolutely disgusting backlash.
Of course, there’s been plenty of gross Twitter trolls and plenty of Facebook debates that I’ve had to drag people on and within that aren’t worth mentioning,
but there’s been one in particular that bothers me that is full of transphobia, dangerous and needs to be checked, and that is Louisiana rapper Boosie Badazz.
The rapper took to Instagram live a little after Wade made his announcement to pitch in his unwarranted 2 cents on the subject of Zaya, saying that Wade has gone too far and Zaya is a boy, not a girl, doesn’t know anything about sex changes, etc.
“I gotta say something about this shit, bro. Dwyane Wade, you gone too fucking far, dawg," the 37-year-old said, before quickly delving into more transphobic comments. "That is a male. A 12-year-old. At 12, they don’t even know what they next meal gon' be. They don’t have shit figured out yet. He might meet a woman, anything, at 16 and fall in love with her. But his dick be gone—how he gon'—like, bruh, you going too far, dawg."
Clearly, Boosie doesn’t even know the difference between gender and sexuality, because no one said anything about Zaya being lesbian or any other sexuality. She just wants to be known as Zaya, which is trans. Neither Zaya nor the Wades have mentioned anything about gender reassignment surgery.
Wade went on in a later interview to say that Zaya is trans*, bust still straight as far as sexual orientation goes and mentioned how she’s leading their family on this new journey of self-discover and gender identity.
“Zaya started doing more research. She was the one that sat down with us as a family and said, 'Hey I don't think I'm gay.' And she went down the list and said this is how I identify myself -- I identify myself as a young lady. I think I'm a straight trans, because I like boys,'" he explained. "It was a process for us to sit down with our daughter and find out who she is and what she likes and not put something on her -- we decided to listen to her and she's leading us on this journey,” said Wade.
It’s very disturbing to me that Boosie (The same rapper who was speaking about geting his son a sex worker for his then FOURTEEN year old son’s brithday) had anything to say on the matter. He’s not qualified in the slightest to talk about anyone’s children when his 16 year old son Tootie Raww (what kind of name is that?) is misogynistic and his daughter is a “rapper” who has no sense of self. Boosie’s song catalogue also consists of some songs that degrade women and promote violence, so the Black and Mild reminiscent artist should sit this one out.
To make matters worse, his 16 year old son made some crude jokes agreeing and defending his father on Instagram.
“Fuck Dwayne [sic] and his son, idc he gay," the 16-year-old wrote in an Instagram story. "My pops said what he said. Stop sending me that. I bet you won't say it to our face."
He continued: "I know this chick that will do sum thangs to DWade son that will make that boy back str8."
Even rapper Future had something disheartening to say, purposely misgendering Zaya using her previous name Zion, saying that “God doesn’t make mistakes.” I’m glad Twitter dragged him for that.
It’s beyond gross not only for a 16 year old boy to have something to say about a vulnerable 12 year old girl, but his grown father allowing that predatory comment to be said as well. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree which is a shame. Boosie would be a lot better off minding his own business and tending to the zoo of kids he may or may not take care of. Same with Nadayvius aka Future and the rest of the men, most who don’t take care of their kids or themselves and have zero self knowledge.
A lot of folks are upset that they didn’t grow up in a family that was loving enough to educate themselves when their child has a serious identity battle-that hate is trying to be projected on Zaya, and the Wades aren’t having it. Dwayne already said the problem isn’t Zaya, it’s y’all. Imagine being a grown adult so obsessed with another child who is doing no harm, but being wise, bold and brace enough to live in her truth safeguarded by her parents and older siblings while you’re 45, unhappy with your life and writing miserable comments on a Shade Room post that Zaya will never see. Wild.
I sincerely hope that if you have nothing supportive to say, you mind the business that pays you. The transphobia and toxic masculinity is LEAPING out and I’m disappointed but not surprised. We know you’d be a terrible parent and deny your child the right to thrive and be comfortable in their own true skin because you’re too focused on abuse-we get it. The lack of affection and education is what leads a lot of trans* and LGBTQIA kids to commit suicide. The Wades aren’t doing that though because they’re open minded enough to leave their own fears and insecurities at the door and love their Black child boldly. Most of this negativity is rooted in lack of knowledge- you fear and attack what you don’t know. Zaya has more range, wisdom and heart than a lot of y’all. She’s too young to know who she was truly born to be, yet it’s okay to take advice from Boosie who told his teenage son that it’s okay to get oral sex from a 14 year old girl AND a predatory grown woman? Interesting.
It’s okay if you don’t agree (trust me, the Wades nor us progressive folks don’t care), but it does bother me that grown men are trying to tear down and bully this smart baby. She’s going to flourish in her trans identity with style and grace and I hope the ones who think she’s too young to know who she is when ya’ll still don’t know who you are at 38 stay mad about it.